Extra Feedback on the Muckraker Essay

You guys did a good job on the Muckraker essay, and what we strive for in this class is to build your ability to do this during the exam itself.  Here is some official AP feedback on the Muckraker essay and the scoring criteria.

I think most of you would have scored 6 or 7, and a few of you 8 or 9.  Take note of the explanations at the bottom, which clearly state how strongly the writer took a stance on muckraking, and whether or not their examples were ideal for their purposes.  I indicated that three examples of muckraking was ideal, but during an exam two very good ones is more practical.

Happy muckraking.

Writing Response #3: Plastic Pink Flamingos

Here's another typical 40 minute essay prompt from College Board.  I'm trying to include different varieties, and this one includes some reading and analysis.  I think these are a bit more challenging than the open ended responses, and you clearly have to interact directly with the passage, analyzing, as we would with Douglas, how and why the writer uses certain phrases in certain ways to forward their view.

Some questions to consider:

What is Price's tone?  Where and how does this reveal her feelings on American culture?  What words descriptively (if not figuratively) jump out as particularly contextual?  Harvest these as you read.

Price includes anecdotes - and these are selected carefully to paint an overall image of American culture.  Discuss these and how they support her view.

Hopefully you know a bit about the "plastic pink flamingo" phenomena, but in Korea I've never seen one.  Here and here is some extra info.

Remember, you aren't giving your opinion about flamingos or American culture.  You are exploring Price's opinion and digging between the lines.   To see the text below more clearly, click on it and view full size.  Please get this done as soon as possible.

Assignment #2: Muckraker AP Prompt Essay

Hello Students,

Here are the results of the Muckraker essay.

Plato	9.1/10
Locke	9.0/10
Socrates	9.0/10
Hobbes	8.9/10
Aristotle	9.1/10
Aquinas	9.6/10
Nietzsche	9.3/10
Marx	9.4/10

Since you are able to read each other's work through these blogs, I encourage you to check out Seewan's and Kyuhong's as two examples of essays that would score high on an exam.  What I think is needed for this prompt is a clear introduction that does the following:

1.  Introduces the word "muckraker" by commenting on its etymology, referencing the question and conditions set forth in the prompt.

2.  Takes a position on whether or not the word is something to be proud of.

3.  Sets out three examples that support that position.

Then, the following paragraphs should be succinctly organized, without mixing in other things that might distract from the intent of the argument.  Things to avoid and strive for:

1.  Avoid repeating the same concept in different words.
2.  Avoid meandering statements, or thoughts/ideas that don't receive the attention they might deserve.
3.  Avoid too much summary, generalizations, absolutes, overstatements.
4.  Focus on transitions to explain specific ideas that can be backed up.
5.  Focus on giving equal attention to all examples.
6.  Focus on organized development - no backtracking, jumping ahead, or blending examples.


The conclusion should echo the intro, as we all know.  Basically, the simplest approach to this sort of essay is the best one.  A 5 paragraph, 500 word essay that gets to the point quickly and economically.  Anecdotes, preambles, metaphors etc. are good - but should be used moderately.  Keep in mind the person reading your AP exam has read thousands, and doesn't want to backtrack or think too hard about what you are explaining.

What makes a good example of an argument that forwards your thesis?  One that you know about convincingly, and one that isn't too demanding to cover.  Watergate, North Korea, Supersize Me etc. are good, but be sure to avoid extraneous facts therein that don't contribute.   

We will continue to write these kinds of essays, and also look at what AP outlines as scoring scales.

Score for First Writing Response

Hello Students,

I've decided the best way to give you your scores is on my blog via aliases.  You can come and ask me what your ID is next class, or email me at garrioch@minjok.hs.kr or s_garrioch@hotmail.com or facebook.

Plato	9.3/10
Locke	9.2/10
Socrates	8.9/10
Descartes	9.0/10
Hobbes	9.2/10
Aristotle	8.9/10
Aquinas	9.3/10
Nietzsche	9.4/10
Marx	8.9/10

A good essay from Changwoo...

 
The situation surrounding last semester's last assignment was not favorable for any of us, but I'd like to extend credit where credit is due to Chang Woo:

The Earthlings 


He's uploaded a second draft to his blog, and I welcome you to do the same in the future. The picture helps with context, and compared to a piece of paper with an essay on it, the longevity and added features that a blog affords your assignments is clearly beneficial.

Please keep in mind you are encouraged to use your blogs for anything and everything you want (even college essays), and not just for AP assignments.  Anything you want to share with the class or that you find interesting is welcome, as I will make a habit of looking them over during class. If you want to change the title of your blog to reflect this, feel free.

Comments Posted Re. "Turtle Boy"

Hello AP Students,

Although this "blog" system is still in its experimental phase, I'd like to say that your responses to "Turtle Boy" indicate that it is going to be a success. Compared to the writing in the essays I just returned to you today (generally, not the best I've seen from you), the quality of your writing in this first Critical Response is remarkably better. Why? I'm not sure, but I think the blogging platform is more relaxed, more immediate, and more conducive to opinion than the traditional "hand in a paper" routine.

So what I want to generate with this blogging network is more writing and more reading - and not just reading the articles or prompts, but each others work. You all have your unique strengths and insights, and as writers you can gain from one another. In terms of "class participation," I'd like to see you commenting on each others work from time to time. Dokee - be nice to Junho. No jokes.

Keep up the good work everyone.

Note: The weekly reponses are worth 10 marks, and of course I won't make these scores public. If you want, you can set audience comments so they have to be verified before you allow them. If you'd rather not have my feedback visible, I don't mind. We can discuss this in class.

AP Mini-Essay #1: "Muckraker"

Below is an official AP essay prompt from the College Board.  As discussed in class, you will have to write three of these on the exam, and spend about 40 minutes for each over the course of two hours.

This prompt asks you to analyze the word "muckraker" and take a position on whether or not the title should be accepted with pride or shame.  My advice - first discuss the word itself.  What impression does it first make, and what is the possible etymology of the word (this should be fairly obvious if you consider what makes it a compound word).

In terms of "specific evidence," recent news developments should turn up a few obvious choices with Wikileaks.  So make sure you take a clear position which is supported.